Those pockets aren't for your hands...

So, Slimm and I had a student third rider the other day.  I enjoy having students, I really do.  They are, for the most part, sponges for knowledge, tend to ask good questions, and are generally helpful.  This one was none of the above.


I'll call him Goofus. 


My partner and I started this shift as usual, with a check-off sheet in our hands.  Goofus had failed to introduce himself at this point, and stood about 20 feet to the side, with his hands in his pockets.  We were prepared to leave him standing there in the parking lot, but he managed to sneak in the side before we could drive off.  Then he took a nap. 


Granted, this is an early-starting shift, but beginning the shift by napping in the back does not bode well for the rest of the day. 


The day started off plainly enough, with a vent transfer from a long-term hospital to another hospital's ICU, then with some driving from post to post, then finally, a call.  It turned out to be nothing, with no assistance from the fire department needed or wanted.  What was of note, however, was that Goofus kept his hands in his pockets.  The entire call.


The rest of the shift was utterly boring.  Some schizophrenic man with diarrhea for a week, and no shoes, a known alcoholic drug-seeker with abdominal pain and an incredibly steep and long driveway, and some other calls that were bland to the point of not remembering.  Goofus never took his hands out of his pockets, never spoke to the patients, never attempted an assessment, much less an intervention, didn't participate in the hand off of patients to nurses, and didn't help my partner or I put the truck back together in preparation for the next run. 


As we were handing off the ambulance to the oncoming crew, Goofus had the nerve to ask me if I would go into the monitor archives and print vitals for all the patients we had transported. 


I'm not sure if Goofus ever got his vitals, or if Goofus ever got anyone to sign his paperwork for school.  I am pretty confident, however, that Goofus will have a very short, if any, career in EMS.