A what plan?

20 something female, pregnant, having contractions.  These are usually lame calls. 

I mean, you've known for how many weeks you would need a ride to the hospital?  One would think you could save enough money for cab fare in 40 weeks.  But ambulances are free.

This is a nice neighborhood, where kids go to private schools.  This call is getting lamer.

Met by a nice, well dressed gentleman who directs us upstairs, to his wife, who is allegedly having contractions.  I say allegedly, because I'm not sure if she is having contractions, or simply auditioning for a dying walrus. 

She hands my partner a 2 inch, pink binder. 

"This is my birthing plan.  I want to make sure it gets to the hospital with me."

"Excuse me, what?  A what plan?"

"My birthing plan.  I want to make sure everything goes the way I want it."

"Was going to the hospital by ambulance part of your birthing plan?"  (Hey, I'm just curious.)

"Well, no.  That part wasn't in the plan."

The binder doesn't make it with us.  We forgot it.  Honestly.